The Leadership Lesson I Didn’t Expect
By Jennifer Todd, MLS, M. ASCE - Executive Director, A Greener Tomorrow | Former President, LMS General Contractors
The hardest lesson I learned on my leadership journey had little to do with credentials, licenses, or technical skill.
It was delegation.
On the surface, delegation sounds simple: understand the task, assign responsibility, move on. But after 18 years as a woman in construction and engineer, I understand things differently. Leadership taught me quickly that delegation isn’t really about tasks. It’s about self-awareness.
When work didn’t get done, when expectations weren’t met, or when communication broke down causing project delays, the uncomfortable truth surfaced again and again:
It was on me.
Leadership has a way of holding up a mirror. It forces you to ask questions you can’t avoid. Was I truly giving clear direction or assuming people would read my mind? Was I frustrated with others or avoiding my own discomfort with boundaries, clarity, and accountability?
Managing people requires managing yourself at a completely different level. There is no one- size-fits-all approach. Every person brings different strengths, motivations, and communication styles. And when things fall short, leadership forces you to look inward before you look outward.
That’s where the real work begins.
Along the way, I learned something important: not all doubt is the same.
Sometimes the challenge is imposter syndrome—the internal voice that questions whether you belong, whether you’re capable, whether you’ve truly earned your seat at the table.
And sometimes, it’s something else entirely.
What I call The Doubt Tax.
The Doubt Tax isn’t internal. It’s external. It’s the extra scrutiny, explanation, justification, and proof required because others doubt you before you even begin. It’s the invisible cost many women—especially those in male-dominated industries—pay simply to be seen as credible.
Early in my leadership journey, I responded to both the same way.
I overachieved. I overgave. I did more than necessary, thinking excessive effort would quiet doubt—mine and theirs. But leadership has a way of revealing hard truths, and one of them is this: overgiving doesn’t eliminate doubt. It only exhausts you, and clouds your efforts.
There is zero reward for people-pleasing in leadership. Avoiding difficult conversations doesn’t make things better, it delays them and builds resentment. Not asking for what you need isn’t selfless or admirable; it’s self-betrayal. And that cost compounds over time.
As the stakes get higher, so do the consequences. The higher you go in leadership, the more visible your decisions become and the more damage can be done when clarity is missing. At that level, standing up isn’t optional. Doing the inner work isn’t a “nice to have.” It’s a responsibility.
This is especially true as a woman in a male-dominated industry. When representation is limited, ambiguity becomes a liability. As a woman at work, if you aren’t clear about who you are, how you lead, and what you expect, someone else will define it for you.
The shift for me came when I stopped trying to lead through effort alone and started leading through intention. I focused on understanding my own tendencies—where I overfunctioned, where I avoided discomfort, where I mistook doing more for leading better.
That self-awareness changed everything.
Communication became clearer. Expectations became firmer. Interactions became healthier. Not perfect, just better. One percent better every day.
The leaders I admire most aren’t flawless. They’re grounded. They know who they are. They acknowledge where they fall short and are willing to do the work to grow. They don’t confuse overdoing with leadership or sacrifice themselves to earn legitimacy.
They understand when doubt is theirs to work through and when it isn’t theirs to carry at all.
That’s the leader I continue to become. It’s the type of leadership I desire all women to embrace.
Because real leadership isn’t about doing everything yourself or proving your worth through exhaustion. It’s about showing up with clarity, integrity, and the courage to lead without paying a tax you were never meant to owe.
Jennifer Todd, MLS, is the youngest Black woman to receive California's CSLB (A) General Engineering license. As Founder of A Greener Tomorrow and former President of LMS General Contractors, she has been recognized as a 2020 ENR Top 25 Newsmaker and 2021 ENR Top 20 Under 40 Professional. She produces Breaking Barriers: Women at Work, a documentary series showcasing women leaders in construction. Connect with her work at www.youtube.com/@breakingbarriersseries.
-Jennifer T.
